Many people see affairs as marriage breakers. No one has any sympathy for the adulterer, nor do they try to understand why the infidelity occurred in the first place. However, the mere fact that someone has had an affair can actually save a marriage instead of harm it.
In what ways can an affair help a marriage?
Your affair can add a new energy to your marriage. There comes a point in a marriage where people can begin to stagnate. They may feel that they are purely going through the motions; they’re just not happy or content – they are just there, not giving their all in a relationship. This may be because they do not have a strong emotional connection for the marriage anymore, but quite often it can be that they just need to spice things up a bit, and get some of their old energy back. An affair can be therapeutic to the person who feels this way. It will give them clarity and the ability to jolt themselves out of their inertia.
The second reason an affair can actually help your marriage is the fact that it shows you that there is something missing in your marriage. Good people cheat because they are lacking a fundamental need from their partner. This lack can be emotional, physical or a combination of both. There are four types of infidelity. What type of infidelity you partake in can help guide you to why you are cheating.
What are the different types of affairs?
Object affairs are the first type of infidelity. This is where a partner neglects a marriage to focus on something else. This can be anything. It can be video games, work, the garden, etc. Object affairs are usually a way to avoid the problems that are in a marriage. When you or your spouse participate in an object affair, it is best to try and work with them on it. For example, if the object affair is video games, play the games with him or her. It can help open a line of communication, and over time, the problems will be addressed.
The second type of affair that many opt for are sexual affairs. Sexual affairs are basic. They are rooted in sexual desires and nothing more. No emotional intimacy is involved. If you are having a sexual affair, why are you having one? Is it because your partner is not sexually adventurous or lacks an active sex drive? What have you done to kick-start their sex drive? If your sexual needs aren’t being met in the marriage, chances are your partner’s needs are not being met either. An affair can help you save a marriage by showing you that you should be more aggressive with meeting your partner’s needs.
Affair number three is emotional affairs. These are when you emotionally depend or bond with someone. Ask yourself, why you cannot share your emotions with your spouse?
The fourth type is a combination of the emotional and sexual affairs. You are practically in two relationships. It can be exhausting and help you focus on the positives and negatives of trying to make your marriage work.
Affairs are wake up calls. It can help uncover problems in a marriage. Once you know the problems, you and your spouse can work on fixing them. You might even find yourself a happy human being once you have embarked on an extramarital affair.