Since the sexual revolution the role of women in society has completely changed. In the last few years the balance in terms of married couples seems to have entirely shifted. More women than ever are the main breadwinners within family units, but still undertake the lion’s share of traditional female roles such as childcare, shopping, remembering birthdays, cleaning, picking up towels and so on. With more and more responsibility and general stuff to do heaped upon the shoulders of women, it’s no wonder we’re stressed out!
Then there’s the media to contend with, who are constantly telling us to be sexier and have more and better sex, until we start to feel we’re missing out. Then we get a well-thumbed copy of 50 Shades of Grey and read it frowning in frustration whilst hubby snores on the sofa.
Whereas a couple of generations ago it wasn’t the done thing for women to admit to enjoying sex, today it’s all the rage, which means those women who may have stuck with frustration in the past now feel empowered to go out and seek the sexual experiences they want.
The Monogamy Myth
Whilst it may be true for some people that they want to spend their entire lives with one other human, for most of us it really isn’t. Monogamy is the trade-off for all the other positive things you get from a stable, loving relationship. Unfortunately, if you’ve got a high sex drive or different proclivities to your partner, that’s where things can start to get complicated.
In the past women were in a more vulnerable position in society, so cheating would have serious consequences (like homelessness, bankruptcy and being shamed by society!). Nowadays most women hold the purse strings and the more powerful position and would not be destroyed by an affair, so, in the modern world, many more harangued and put upon women feel justified in orchestrating a little fun and excitement in their lives because they run the show and they are in charge! Whilst in the past they may have stuck to a grin and bear it attitude, done all the donkey work and got no satisfaction, today’s super women aren’t so afraid to indulge in a little ‘me’ time – after all, they’re worth it!
Can Affairs Ever Work
A recent survey from the Marriage Guidance Council found that money and not infidelity was the number one reason for marriage break ups. In fact, many marriages do recover and grow stronger following an affair. An affair is indicative of a relationship problem and it can be the catalyst for that problem being addressed.
Whether you’re ready for infidelity depends on whether you’re ready to face the consequences of being caught. When the thought of splitting with your partner makes you feel sick then an affair probably isn’t for you. If the pull of an elicit encounter is more powerful than the fear of losing your relationship then a little discreet fun could be just what you need.