Five French Fancies for your Freebie List

Posted by ma-admin
Posted: November 18, 2013

Olivier MartinezMarried women everywhere know that if Chris Helmsworth, Leo DiCaprio or Benedict Cumberbatch decide they want to offer us a night of passion, we’re perfectly within our rights to accept! Ever since that episode of Friends, freebie lists have become part and parcel of the modern relationship. But if you want your fantasy boyfriends to show you the best possible (imaginary) time, then it’s essential to inject some Gallic passion into your top five.

1. Antoine De Caunes

Renaissance man Antoine de Caunes is best known for presenting Eurotrash back in the 90s, but he’s also a director, writer and actor. But who cares about that, he’s bloody gorgeous. Although he hasn’t been seen in the UK for years, he’s a regular on French screens and appears on a number of comedy panel shows. The once raven haired beauty is now a silver fox and unbelievably is about to hit the big six oh! Does that make him a GILF? 

2. Olivier Martinez

This actor is better known for dating a string of Hollywood royalty than he is for any of his films (S.W.A.T anyone?) but we’re not interested in his acting chops. We just want him to invite us round to his elegant Parisian apartment, cook Moules marinier then throw us passionately onto his silk sheeted bed to be willingly ravaged. Plus, he doesn’t mind throwing a punch to protect our honour. He got into trouble for giving Halle Berry’s ex a black eye when the pair were dating.

3. Michael Vartan

The star of ABC’s Alias for five seasons, Vartan made a good job of fooling everyone into thinking he was American, but the chisel jawed action man is actually a full on Frenchie, which means he can sexily switch between screaming ‘put the gun down now’ in English to whispering ‘Je veux te lécher des hanches jusqu’aux pieds’ in our ear. We LOVE that!

4. Yoann Gourcuff

He’s good at football and blah blah blah. No one’s bothered about his ball skills on the field, but we do love his enticing ice blue eyes, tousled mop of dark hair and super solid buttocks! Yoann comes from sporting royalty. His dad is manager of division 1 club FC Lorient and his brother (equally hot) swims and cycles for France. We’re not going to say anything else, we’ll just leave you to think about that yourself.

5. Zinedine Zidane

If you love alliteration as much as you love sexy blokes then Zinedine Zidane is an essential addition to your freebie list (what? I like alliteration, ok?) Double Z is not just a pretty face, he recently completed a degree in Law and Sports Science and is rumoured to be gunning for the manager’s position of the French international team. The Gallic goodybag has also won FIFA World Player of the year, which apparently means he’s quite good at football or something like that, but we adore him for his lovely big shiny head … because he shaves his hair… you’re dirty!