At Marital Affair we like to every now and then tackle the question that are important to our adult dating community. Are humans supposed to be monogamous? It’s a question that has been coming up regularly of late. Part of this is because some people feel we are living in more liberal and progressive times, burdened less with previously accepted ideas of propriety. In truth, it may have to do with the fact we live in a more secular and enlightened age, rather than a world dominated by the views of whatever religion is popular at the moment. So, what purpose does monogamy presently serve in our society?
We don’t have the social stigma and shaming associated with unwed mothers, or bastard children, that were prevalent centuries ago. We don’t worry about bloodlines or succession for the most part anymore, and even if we did modern science now has the blood test to deal with that sort of thing. These seem like they would be the practical, social, economic and political reasons behind old societies that embraced monogamy, and they are no longer a concern.
Open marriages and swinging have become lifestyle choices that are being popularised by the media. There are no laws strictly preventing extramarital affairs for the most part, and there are many services that help facilitate it. The truth is that monogamy is unnatural for us as human beings, like so many other things we’ve forced into our lives to make a functioning society. Monogamy is no longer necessary or socially beneficial to us, and that is why many are discarding it in favour of alternative lifestyles. Each generation embraces this idea more and more as they distance themselves from the world built by their elders.
The benefits of monogamy no longer outweigh the restrictions and limitations, and the fact is that it doesn’t address the lack of happiness or passion people may be missing in their long-term relationships. Today people are more concerned with being happy than being appropriate or accepted by others. The need to uphold the values of society are not as much of a concern for most of us as it was for our grandparents. We are more committed to pleasing ourselves than appeasing others and meeting their expectations. This is why we don’t necessarily agree with monogamy anymore – we are a generation that prioritizes personal freedom a lot more, and that also extends to our personal and sexual relationships and desires.
Previous generations were concerned with marriages that were beneficial to their families, acceptable in the eyes of their social class and followed the doctrines of their religion. Personal happiness, love or even lust were an afterthought and considered an idle luxury. Today things are very different. People have interfaith, interracial and even same sex relationships, ideas that were heavily frowned upon even 50 years ago. It’s only a natural matter of progression that polyamorous relationships would be on the table at this point. We’ve managed to discard so many archaic notions about relationships and sex you would think that monogamy would be an easier one to dispense with, especially considering that statistically it’s proving itself to be an outdated, failing concept.