I want an Affair

Posted by ma-admin
Posted: October 10, 2012

Have an Affair. Maritalaffair.co.uk explains.

So you are saying to yourself, I want an affair, but let’s stop to think why.

Does it really follow that a sexual appetite for variety dilutes your long-term love for your partner? In our culture, the only definitive way to express true love is through fidelity.

Isn’t that a bit narrow-minded and inexpressive.

In a world where we are living longer, we are more geographically mobile, we live more independent lives, technology has relieved us of domestic drudgery and social networking introduces us to endless social opportunities, many of our members tell us that it is unrealistic, or even unnecessary, to remain sexually monogamous.

At maritalaffair.co.uk, we are not about breaking up marriages, but about putting the sparkle back into your romantic life and giving you the chance if you want to have an affair

We know the importance of building and keeping a stable and secure family unit – of making your bed and sleeping in it. But we also know the challenges of keeping raw romance and passion alive in an environment which inevitably becomes centred on familiarity and domestic duties.

As much as we would like it to, it’s no secret that long-term familiarity and romantic lustiness don’t marry up well. Passion fades to friendship. That magical chemistry you felt in the first few years gives way to conversations about who’s taking the bins out.

People turn to flings to reignite the sparkle that has gone missing from life. At maritalaffair.co.uk we believe we each have a need for physical intimacy, fun and romance as much as we have a need for a long-term stable bond. We don’t think they threaten each other. And that’s why we want to help you have both.

As the renowned Alain de Botton said in his latest book How to Think More About Sex, “Seeing marriage as the perfect answer to all our hopes for love, sex and family is naive and misguided.”

Isn’t it just?!

Monogamy doesn’t come naturally to any of us anyway. We have the agricultural revolution of somewhere around 10,000BC to thank for our chains of chastity. Before agricultural settlements, humans lived in big friendly clans and shared all resources, food and sexual partners. It was normal for men and women to have five sexual partners per day! Sexual jealousy was an unknown concept. With the agricultural revolution came the notion of private property, and with that, the idea that we could allocate sexual partners as we did pieces of land.

In the well-known Atlas of World Cultures, the anthropologist George Murdock found that monogamy is only practiced in 18% of world cultures anyway. And even where monogamy is the norm, across all those cultures, and throughout time, men and women have created systems to get around it.

In Imperial China, noblemen would have harems of courtesans. In the Ottoman empire there had the equivalent seraglios, filled with beautiful women waiting to sleep with the Sultan and who often had affairs with each other through boredom. In the East, any man of means had a concubine as well as a wife. In Japan married men entertained themselves with geisha. In Europe, the royal mistresses were accepted into society.

Mistressdom was even well-documented in the Catholic church. In fact that era – from the 9C to the mid 11C – has been nicknamed ‘pornocracy’ because of all number of papal mistresses.

Wouldn’t it be so much easier if we gave the same nod of acceptance to affairs today as we did in times gone by? Wouldn’t life be wonderful if you could sign up to this website with your partner’s blessing? In an ideal world, we would grant our partners the freedom to sexually explore confident in the knowledge that he or she isn’t trying to replace your own long-term bond. Maybe one day this will be the case.

Until we can accept the incompatibility of life-long sexual monogamy with the modern world we have to resort to secret strategies to dodge the chains of monogamy. The French have the cinq à sept – the two-hour window between work and home which allows lovers to rendez vous without even the slightest raised eyebrow. In Shia Islam, a sigheh – a temporary marriage – allows men to have sex with someone who isn’t his usual long-term wife. Such is our natural desire for sexual variety that in repressive countries like Iran, where adulterers are stoned to death, people still do it.

In Japan, they have so-called ‘love hotels’ which hire out rooms by the hour to discrete lovers. They even dispatch the keys in a vending machine and provide curtains in the car park to protect anonymity. We’re all at it! Maritalaffair.co.uk is just another version of the ubiquitous strategies that couples all around the world, throughout time, have dreamt up to escape the unrealistic and unsatisfactory vow of fidelity. So with that, we invite you to join and arrange your own secret cinq à sept.